FREED (The Mind Of Her Billionaire, #3) Page 3

  ‘Have you thought about any names?’ The woman pressed on the machine and printed a picture for her to take home.

  ‘Yes, Gabriel, I’ve always wanted to name my child Gabriel, for a girl, Gabriella.’

  ‘Very nice.’

  ‘I’m hoping I’m going to have an angel.’ She was really hopeful about that, more than any of them realised.

  ‘I’m sure he will be. Children are products of their parents. How we raise them is important.’

  Amelia nodded even though she begged to differ. On some level the woman was right, but what if that was taken out of the parents hands. What if the child was not like other children, then what?

  ‘Are there any questions?’ she asked.

  The questions Amelia had were not the questions the woman could answer. Only time would be able to answer the questions she had. After she’d cleaned up and picked up her picture, she was ready to just have a relaxing evening to herself.

  ‘Thanks for taking me today,’ she said as he pulled up in front of the huge drive. ‘It was nice having you there.’

  ‘I’m glad you let me. And I’m really sorry about the whole Justin thing.’

  ‘It’s what we do.’ She laughed. ‘We’ll probably do it again sometime.’

  ‘I’ll try not too.’

  ‘Yeah, if only. I don’t believe you.’ She opened the door. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

  ‘Yes, see you tomorrow.’

  She bent down, her head still in the car and blew him a kiss.

  Chapter Three

  Amelia took a deep breath as she gazed into the mirror. It had become a habit, watching herself grow each day. She gently rubbed her bump and smiled. Gabriel was her new joy, it was the reason she woke up every morning. Life was hectic, but knowing he was in her life, had made it much more bearable.

  There was a light knock on the door.

  ‘Come in Mandy,’ she said.

  ‘The interviewees are here, Miss Woods.’

  ‘Thanks, Mandy, I’ll be down in a second.’

  Mandy nodded, then slipped out. Amelia felt exhausted; she’d tossed and turned the whole night. The looming visit to Justin had robbed her of beauty sleep. All she could think about was him, about what she would say, about how he would react to the pregnancy, and about her body. But she had to focus on what was in the present and that was to interview potential Au pairs.

  Ten minutes later Amelia was sat in her office interviewing some women for the job, and so far she didn’t like any of them. One was too strict, she came from a very old school background, one that made her shudder. She was surprised she was even allowed to be an Au pair, the woman believed in strict rules and doing everything by the book. In all honesty, Amelia wasn’t looking for a replacement parent, she was just looking for someone to step in when she wasn’t around.

  Amelia was loosing hope of finding the perfect au pair that day until Rebecca walked in. The young woman with the curly brown hair and sweet smile took a seat opposite Amelia. She seemed a little nervous, but there was a good energy about her. Amelia could feel it, and before she’d even spoken to her, she knew that she was the woman for the job.

  ‘Hi.’ Amelia smiled.

  ‘Hello, Miss Woods.’

  Amelia looked at the C.V. She was born Rebecca York, twenty six years old, single. She’d studied languages at Huddersfield University. She’d gone on to do childhood early years, with the intention of working in a school.

  ‘What made you choose to apply for this job?’

  ‘I saw it as an opportunity to work on a one on one basis with a child. I love children.’

  Amelia nodded.

  ‘I’ve worked as an Au pair before, but only short term. The families usually had me in while their Au pair was on leave.’

  ‘I see.’

  ‘This is long term, is there a problem with that?’

  ‘No, absolutely not.’

  ‘You realise that I’m not due for another five months. But I would like you to help get the nursery ready. I will give you a list of things that I’d like and want, to get ready for the baby.’

  The woman nodded enthusiastically.

  ‘I want to spend as much time as I can with my son.’ She felt goose bumps as she said the word son. ‘That means that at times you’ll be accompanying me to where I go.’

  ‘Yes, I understand.’ Rebecca smiled.

  ‘This is a live-in job.’

  ‘Yes, I understand that too.’

  ‘You’re entitled to twenty seven days annual leave and sick pay.’

  ‘That’s much more generous than I’ve worked for before.’ The woman beamed.

  ‘I like you,’ said Amelia, with a smile. ‘I think I’ll give you a try.’

  ‘Really?!’

  ‘Yes, really, and I hope we have a long good relationship. Mandy will show you around and later she’ll help with regards to things that I need for the baby.’

  ‘Yes, Miss Woods.’

  Amelia stood up and proffered her hand. ‘Welcome.’ She shook Rebecca’s hand.

  ‘Thank you, you won’t be disappointed.’

  ‘I believe you.’

  Mandy showed her out and then she was back in Amelia’s office at her request.

  ‘Let me just take this.’ Amelia took the paracetamol, she had a splitting headache.

  ‘Are you alright?’

  ‘I will be, just a horrible headache.’

  Mandy nodded and waited for her instructions.

  ‘I’m going to do a bit of work before making my way to see Justin. Could you let Roy know I’ll have my lunch in here while I work.’

  ‘Yes, Miss Woods.’ Mandy began to make her way out.

  ‘Mandy,’ said Amelia. ‘Thank you.’

  Mandy nodded. Amelia had become so good at delegating that it came as second nature. With so much money at her disposal, it would’ve been foolish to try and do things all by herself. She was grateful for Justin’s trust in her, but she was also just grateful for her friends. Friends she would be seeing that evening.

  ****

  Her heart pounded so hard, she felt faint. On the way to see Justin, Amelia had the opportunity to have a short discussion with Doctor Gallagher. He’d given her a few tips she could use, in the short time they had. She was to remember that Justin loved her, even if it seemed impossible. She had to remember that his mind worked differently and that not all parts to his brain worked like hers.

  The driver opened the door and she stepped out. She then made her way into the building she dreaded so much. She avoided the x-ray scan, but her bag was put through the scanner. She was then directed to a different place than she had been before. The guard opened the door to what looked more like an office.

  He nodded her in, but she was a little hesitant.

  ‘It’s alright, I’ve been given this room,’ he said as he stepped into her view.

  He stopped in his tracts the moment he noticed her round belly. Amelia looked down, and tried to avoid his gaze. There was a strange feeling in the room. The guard shut the door behind him and she worried that being alone with Justin would be a risk.

  ‘It’s okay, there are cameras around, and the guard is just outside.’

  She looked up and directly into his eyes, just as Doctor Gallagher had told her to. There was something about the eyes, the connection to the soul, the place where she could connect to him. He smiled lightly as his eyes landed on hers. He kept them on her so that he was not swayed to look at her body, even though he wanted to.

  He stepped forward and drew her closer towards him.

  ‘Hi,’ he said, keeping his gaze on her.

  ‘Hi.’ She bit back. It felt good to see him, even though her heart was pounding and she was shaking like a leaf.

  ‘It’s okay,’ he said. ‘I won’t hurt you. I’m going to be honest with you though.’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘I have all sorts of thoughts within me right now, but I’m choosing not to go ahead with them.’
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  ‘That’s comforting to know.’ She didn’t know what else to say.

  ‘I’ve been doing a lot of work with Doctor Gallagher, and your picture has been my saving grace.’ He pushed back and finally gazed at her stomach.

  He wasn’t sure what he felt. He knew how he was supposed to respond, through years of practice and observing, but the feeling wasn’t there. It hadn’t registered.

  ‘We’re having a baby,’ she said finally.

  He gently put his hand to her belly.

  ‘You’re having a son.’

  He kept his hand on her belly and remained quiet.

  ‘How do you feel about that? How do you feel about becoming a father?’

  His hand dropped from her belly and he took a step back.

  ‘Come, sit down.’ He guided her to some chairs.

  Amelia sat down and watched him, she kept the words of the doctor close to her heart. She would take this one step at a time.

  ‘I’m...I know how I’m supposed to feel,’ he said.

  ‘But you don’t feel it?’ She felt upset.

  He shook his head slowly.

  ‘It’s okay, I’m learning too.’

  ‘I want to, I really do, this is why I’ve begged to see you.’

  ‘I understand,’ she said again. It was pretty painful not being able to share the joy of their child together.

  ‘I feel like two different people,’ he said. ‘There is the one part, I’m trying to hold onto, but it feels like holding onto the edge of a building with sweaty hands.’

  She took his hand into hers.

  ‘Tell me, tell me about your brother.’

  He looked behind him a minute as if there was someone standing behind them, and then back at her.

  ‘He was an animal,’ he said. ‘My parents spoilt him rotten.’

  ‘Is that what annoyed you?’

  ‘He would get on my nerves, tell fibs, say things about me that I’d never done.’

  ‘Was any of it true?’

  ‘No, I kept to myself. I had an odd time growing up. The first time I realised something was wrong with me was at my grandmothers funeral. I noticed that everyone was miserable, crying. I just couldn’t connect with that. I felt nothing. I didn’t care that she was dead.’

  Amelia’s stomach tensed into a ball, she couldn’t imagine a life like that. What would if feel like not to care.

  ‘My mother was crying like crazy, all I wanted to do was shut her up.’

  ‘How old were you then?’

  ‘I was six. I think.’

  ‘So the day you hit your brother with the bat, what happened, how did you feel? Had he done anything specific to make you act this way?’

  ‘He walked out of the house with a ring donut in his hand,’ Justin said calmly.

  ‘And then what happened?’

  ‘I was swinging my bat, trying to get my swing right. He said, “Hey.” But I just ignored him.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘He just kept saying hey.’

  ‘And so you –’

  ‘I turned around, walked up to him, smiled, walked behind him and swung the bat into his head.’

  Amelia sucked in a deep breath, did she really want to continue this discussion.

  ‘He fell to the ground, I remember watching the donut roll away. I struggled to pull him to the hole I’d been digging.’

  ‘Why did you dig the hole?’

  ‘For him, I knew one day, I’d kill him,’ he said as if he was announcing the weather.

  Amelia scratched her head a moment, she couldn’t digest this. The man sitting in front of her was a killer. She was carrying his child and he loved her, and she loved him. It was the worst thing she’d ever been through.

  ‘I know what I did was wrong,’ he said.

  ‘Do you?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘But you don’t feel guilty about it.’

  He shook his head.

  ‘I don’t know if I can...’ She bit back her lip. ‘What about what you did to me, do you feel anything, guilt?’

  ‘Amelia,’ he said. ‘Please, I’m really trying.’

  ‘But it’s not about trying is it.’ A tear rolled down her left cheek.

  ‘I felt something with you that I never felt before,’ he said. ‘Look at me, please look at me.’

  She slowly looked into his eyes.

  ‘There is something about you that makes me want to do better. You do that to me. Only you. That’s why I held onto you the way I did. Do I feel guilty, no, I don’t, but I do remember what it felt like to have you, to feel good around you.’

  At least he was honest, Amelia could give him that.

  ‘Do you feel it now?’ she asked. ‘Even though I am as big as an elephant.’

  ‘I do.’

  She believed him.

  ‘You could do with loosing the weight though, but I’m trying not to focus on that.’

  ‘Is it working?’ She bit back a smile.

  ‘No, it isn’t. I loathe the way you look.’

  ‘You do realise that what you’re saying hurts me?’

  ‘I do, I’ve been working with the doctor on that. I’m sorry.’

  Amelia knew that he said sorry because it was what he’d been taught to do, not because he truly felt it.

  ‘If you focus on the one fact that is true, and that’s I love you. What I feel when I look into your eyes, I haven’t felt with anyone. Please tell me that’s enough. Please tell me that you’ll try and work with me.’

  Amelia sat back and thought about it. She tried to view Justin with a different problem, like uncontrollable tourette syndrome. If he was constantly swearing at her, knowing that he couldn’t control it, how would she react. It was extremely hard. But the words – he who is without sin, cast the first stone – nagged at her. She knew that it wasn’t an excuse for what he’d done, he’d murdered his brother, and probably the woman Sandra Reed. That was still yet to be proven. But she would at least try and understand him, and the sad truth was, she still loved him. It was a bitter pill to swallow, one that the majority of her friends wouldn’t agree with.

  She placed her hand over his. ‘Yes, yes I will work with you, but on one condition.’

  ‘Anything.’

  ‘You stop making comments about my weight. I know it disgusts you, but please don’t say it to me, it hurts. When the baby’s born, I will do my best to tone down, but to what feels comfortable to me. Can we agree on that?’

  ‘Yes, I will do the best I can.’

  ‘That’s all I ask,’ she said.

  He brought her hand to his lips and gave her a gentle kiss. It was the oddest feeling in the world. He was her cross to bear, her lesson to learn. Some people had to deal with serious illness, others with financial trouble and others with whatever came their way. Each and every human being on the planet had a cross to bear, a lesson to learn, hers was just different. It seemed bigger than most, but each person was given what they could bear. She’d given into him, but with a better understanding as to why. She knew that ignoring the fact wouldn’t solve anything, especially now a child was on the way. It might be the biggest challenge yet.

  There was a knock on the door.

  ‘I think it’s time up,’ he said.

  ‘Okay.’ She stood up, but he pulled her back so that he could plant a kiss on her.

  He pressed his soft lips against hers. She shut out everything. All thought and doubt. She lived in that moment. It was the Justin she knew, the man without the issues. He gently touched the side of her cheek, kissing her passionately. The door opened and he had to break away from her.

  ‘Will you come again soon?’ he asked.

  ‘Yes, yes I will.’

  She was guided out of the room and out of the building.

  ****

  ‘I’m so sorry I’m late.’ She finally sat down at the Chinese restaurant.

  ‘No excuses!’ said Kira. ‘It’s bad enough we have to be placed in your diary just to see you.’


  ‘Oh c’mon, that’s not fair. It’s Gary’s birthday. Happy birthday!’ She leaned across to give him a kiss. ‘This is for you.’ She handed him the bag.

  ‘Oooh, Harvey Nics!’ Kira commented.

  ‘Yes, Harvey Nics!’ Amelia bit back.

  ‘Go on then, let’s see what the billionairess bought you,’ said Kira.

  ‘Is that even a word?’ asked Gary.

  ‘Open it,’ Kira encouraged ignoring him.

  ‘Alright, alright, keep your knickers on!’ Gary warned.

  ‘How was your visit?’ Tate couldn’t help himself.

  Kira’s ears perked up.

  ‘It was good, but I don’t want to discuss it now. It’s Gary’s day today.’

  ‘Yes it is and I... oh gosh... I love this!’ He showed off the cufflinks.

  ‘Nice, how much?’ Kira asked.

  ‘None of your business.’ Amelia bit back.

  ‘Oh, what’s got into you?’ asked Kira

  ‘Maybe I should ask you the same question.’ She giggled.

  ‘Ladies, it’s my day today, none of the cattiness.’ He showed off the watch. ‘This is awesome, thank you so much for this Amy.’ He leaned forward to give her a kiss. ‘I’m going to show this off!’

  ‘I know you are honey, you deserve it,’ said Amelia.

  Amelia tried to keep the focus on Gary, after all, it was his night. But there were times when the conversation leaned back to her. It was always about her and Justin. It seemed the most interesting topic to date.

  ‘Are you guys ready to order,’ she interrupted Kira, who was trying to fish for more information.

  ‘I’ve been ready the moment I got here. And I’m starving!’ said Gary.

  ‘I think I’ll need another few minutes,’ Kira said just to be awkward.

  ‘Of course you do, why don’t you take your time,’ Amelia said sarcastically.

  Kira had always been that way but lately, it had gotten worse, or it was Amelia’s hormones that had got in the way.

  ‘You’ve been pretty quiet,’ she said to Tate.

  ‘I’ve got a lot on my mind,’ he said.

  ‘Like what?’ Kira dove in.

  ‘Nothing important.’ He didn’t want to discuss his thoughts with her.

  ‘Have you decided what you’re having?’ Amelia asked.